Tag Archives: cystic fibrosis

Remembering 9.15.14

16 Sep

Transplant stats

Transplant stats chalkboard art

On this day, at this time (0845), one year ago, I sat at a table in the family waiting room of the cardiothoracic surgical ICU at Johns Hopkins Hospital.  It had been a whirlwind of events over the previous 36 hours and I had finally gotten some sleep and was ready to share the story of Jody’s double-lung transplant.  I remember feeling such a sense of hope and wonder as well as gratitude and grief.  My heart ached for the family who suddenly mourned the loss of life, a family to which I felt instantly connected through organ donation.  Tears flowed as I typed and they have continued to flow throughout this first year following Jody’s transplant.

Sometimes the tears come when I’m driving alone and thinking of the donor family or thanking God for Jody’s gift of health.  Often they come when I’m watching Jody do something I know he couldn’t have done a year ago, like jumping off a diving board and swimming the entire length of a pool, or racing our girls in the yard, or even snow blowing our driveway in the freezing cold.  The other week I watched him play a Frisbee game with his friends, running back and forth, effortlessly and free of an oxygen tank, and again my eyes began to water.  I’m so very grateful and no amount of words can adequately express what I feel in my heart.

It is so hard for me to believe it has been one year since Jody’s surgery.  I remember it like it was yesterday and the entire experience has filled my thoughts so much this past year, sometimes more than I would have liked.  It was such a life altering experience, filled with highs and lows, non of which could be too quickly forgotten.  Jody, on the other hand, remembers very little details about his time in the hospital which is probably a blessing.  I’m glad he can’t remember how miserable he was with that breathing tube down his throat.  I’m glad he doesn’t know all the silly things he said and did while experiencing hallucinations as a side effect of his medication.  I’m so glad he can’t remember what it was like to have his oxygen sats drop to the 60’s and not be given oxygen because it would be “toxic” to his new lungs (just watching it was scary enough).  I’m glad he doesn’t remember when he felt like giving up.  But I remember.

When I look at photos of Jody’s transplant I can’t see the picture as you would, I have a memory and an emotion attached to it.  You might simply see a picture of Jody and I together in the hall, smiling.  I know, for instance, that the picture was taken after his return to the ICU when he could barely walk 50 feet (and had been walking two miles a day just a few days prior).  I know that I took that picture when he needed to stop for a break during that 50 foot walk.  The picture reminds me of how I felt when taking it.  My mind is full of memories and especially in the first few months following transplant, normal conversations were hard.  My husband had just had two vital organs removed and someone else’s organs put inside him, small talk just didn’t interest me.  It seemed everything around me reminded me of transplant in some weird way and so it invaded my thoughts often in those first few months after returning home.

Yesterday was just another day on this journey we call life, but it was a big, important day to me.  It was one year since Jody’s surgery and it held so much meaning.  He survived!  I survived!  We, as a family, survived!  I remember writing the blog post Two (months) Down, Ten (months) to Go, referring to the 12 months the doctors say it takes to recover from a double-lung transplant, and thinking how far away that sounded.  Jody was so weak and frail when he came home from the hospital.  He was down to 100 pounds and it seemed like even the slightest touch hurt him.  I couldn’t wait until I could hug him like normal again and not worry about hurting him or feeling every last one of his bones.  God is good and Jody has made it through those first 12 months!  In fact, not only is he living, he is thriving!  His lung function is better than it has ever been; yesterday he blew 105%!  He was also told yesterday that he can stop checking his blood sugar because he hasn’t been requiring insulin and his post-transplant diabetes seems to have resolved (since he is on a lower dose of prednisone).  His hemoglobin A1C, a measurement of the overall effectiveness of blood glucose control over a period of about three months, was 5.1 (the last time they checked it, it was 6.3 which was still higher than they wanted for him to be declared diabetic free).  I remember in the early post-op days, Jody’s transplant coordinator talked about post-transplant diabetes and that “sometimes” people can get rid of it (although she didn’t sound very hopeful that that would be the case with Jody).  I remember praying about it and have enjoyed watching his sugars improve with each tapering dose of his steroid.  How awesome it is for this to be gone and what a 1st breathday gift!  Hopkins will continue to check his level every six months, and we know it could come back, but for now we celebrate this small milestone and no more finger sticks for Jody.

This past year has been a year of physical healing for Jody and emotional healing for me.  I can honestly say there were times following transplant, particularly when I went back to work, where I felt like I was going to lose my mind.  I was pulled in so many different directions caring for everyone and everything.  I ran the house, cared for Jody, cared for our daughters, cared for my patients, and gave up many days off only to spend them at Johns Hopkins.  I was exhausted, physically and emotionally.  It was about that time I wrote this blog post.  The good news is I pushed through.  God strengthened me and slowly but surely Jody began to improve.  He could look after himself and soon he was helping with our girls and doing small things around the house, like the post I wrote about how significant it was to watch him take out the trash.

Today our lives are so different, not just from one year ago when Jody was recovering from surgery, but from two and three years ago when so much of our time revolved around illness and hospitalizations with Jody experiencing frequent lung infections resulting from his Cystic Fibrosis.  I cannot believe we have gone an entire year without ANY hospitalizations!!!  It’s so foreign to us but it’s good.  Real good.

I do not understand why God chooses to allow healing for some and not for others.  I know many CF wives who have lost husbands, some before transplant and some after transplant.  I don’t know how long God will allow Jody the health that he has right now but I praise Him for it.  I recognize that Jody’s complete healing can only come Him.  I also thank God for the healing He has begun in my heart and pray that He will help me to put my full trust in Him for my/our future, and not live a life of fear.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28 NIV

This reflection of transplant has clearly been more my viewpoint than Jody’s (this is, after all, a blog about being a CF wife).  I don’t make light of all that Jody endured because I know he took a beating; I witnessed it first hand.  I remember so many times thinking to myself how strong and brave he is, and a true inspiration.  Even in his darkest moments he didn’t give up (and there were a few times I know he wanted to).  I’m so proud of Jody for the way he adheres to his post-transplant routine, full of medications, rehab (for the first six months), lab draws and self-monitoring.  It has been pure joy to watch him blossom over this past year.  I can’t imagine doing life with anyone but him.

As I draw this post to a close I have a few things to share with you.  First is a video* I made where you can see for yourself the difference Jody’s new lungs have made.  It’s a video of him doing his lung function tests before and after transplant.  Jody has a hard time watching this video because he says it was one of the few times he felt defeated (giving it his all and it not being good enough).  Before watching, take a deep breath and quickly blow out all your air… hold it for as long as you can.  Did you cough?  Did it make you short of breath?  Watch Jody’s before and after, to see the difference transplant has made in his life.

The second is a video* which you may have seen already since I posted it on our Jody Needs Lungs Facebook page yesterday.  This is a video which reflects upon Jody’s five weeks in the hospital and his first year of recovery.

Finally I’m sharing a few photos.

Full of health
1st Breathday cake
Together we survived!

*If you are an email subscriber you may have to visit my actual website to watch the above videos.

Tags: , ,

# Why I Stride 4 CF

9 Jun

It’s been nearly two months since my last post.  I owe you an update on Jody, and I plan to do that soon, but I’d like to use this post to tell you about the CF walk we participated in last month.  Each year the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation holds nearly 600 walks nationwide to raise funds for research and drug development for CF.  They term these walks “Great Strides” events.  One of the things I enjoy the most about this event is being in the presence of so many people who know and understand Cystic Fibrosis.  It seems like almost every day of my life I need to explain CF to someone, and while I’m happy to do so, and consider it a calling of sorts, it’s a relief to be in an environment where I don’t need to do that (even if for just one day).  It was fun to meet other CFer’s and CF caregivers, and to encourage them to press on in their fight against Cystic Fibrosis.

2015 Great StridesB

We walk for a cure for Cystic Fibrosis!

Jody and I would like to thank those of you who joined us for this walk; your support meant more than you know.  Likewise, we are appreciative to all the people who made a donation to our team and ultimately helped those living with CF.  Would you believe this one-day Lancaster Great Strides event raised over $172,600?!  Can you imagine how much is raised nationwide?  This is exciting for those of us that have been touched personally by the work of the CF Foundation and hope for a cure for the disease.

IMG_0220[1]

Team Journey with Jody

 At the walk Jody and I were privileged to say a few brief words and share a portion of Jody’s journey with those in attendance. I am continuously amazed at the reach of Jody’s story and although it has not always been an easy road, I hope that we are able to use it to encourage others. At the walk I was also able to meet a few readers of this blog and it was fun to hear your stories (thank you for introducing yourselves to me). Overall it was a fun morning of hanging out with friends and family, raffles, photos, exercise, lunch, and most of all… supporting a cure for Cystic Fibrosis.

Below are a few snapshots of the event (click photos to enlarge and read/add comments):

FYI: Per the guidelines of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation for outdoor events, people living with Cystic Fibrosis need to maintain a six-foot distance from one another to prevent the spread of bacteria and cross infections. In order to make those with CF easily identifiable at the walk, anyone who has the disease is given a green shirt like the one Jody is wearing and is asked to keep a healthy distance from anyone else with the same green shirt.

We love our CFer
Speaking at the event.
Jody encouraging his fellow CFer’s.
WGAL News 8’s Lori Burkholder was the event emcee.
Our team lead the walk
Walking with friends
Enjoying lunch together after the walk.
She walked (rode the stroller) for her Daddy
#IStride4Jody
Adrienne (left), Executive Director of the Central PA Chapter of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Thank you for all your hard work.

 # WeStride4Jody

(and others living with Cystic Fibrosis)

Tags: , ,

We Need A Cure

9 Apr

Cystic Fibrosis.  Do those words have meaning to you?  Is it something you’ve heard of but know little about?  Maybe you’re all too familiar with those two short words?  Or perhaps you’re like most people and have no idea what they mean and the impact they have on one’s life.

Obviously the term, Cystic Fibrosis, carries much meaning for Jody and I.  Actually, I have a love/hate relationship with CF.  I have met so many great people because of this disease and our shared understanding of it.  It’s been neat to see how this blog has connected some of us, something I never would have imagined when I started it.  This disease has allowed me to be a part of a group of fellow CF Wives online and they are a great resource and support when I need it.  I’m also thankful for all the healthcare workers (especially ours) who have made treating people with CF their life’s work.

There are many things I don’t like about this disease, clearly it’s taken us down some difficult paths we would not have chosen for ourselves.  My heart breaks for those I know, or have learned of, who have had lives cut short because of Cystic Fibrosis, and I thank you for sharing those stories with me.  What it boils down to is… WE NEED A CURE!

Jody and I have been asked to participate in the Lancaster area Cystic Fibrosis Foundation – Great Strides Walk for CF.  Actually, Jody has been chosen as the Honorary Chairman of the walk and we will be saying a few brief words at the event.  In addition, our team will be leading the walk.  Will you join us?  Great Strides is the foundations largest fundraising event with more than 125,000 people participating, nationwide.  Funds raised support Cystic Fibrosis research and drug development, moving us closer to the cure we so desperately need.  We believe in the work of this foundation because we have been touched by it directly.

We would love to have you join us, team Journey with Jody, for some fun and exercise while supporting a cause that is near and dear to our hearts.  And since Jody is the star of our team, and the honorary chairman of the walk, you’ll be supporting him too.

Click this link to join our team or to make a tax-deductible donation to team Journey with Jody.

DSC_1484A

I’m ready to walk for a cure… are you?

EVENT DETAILS:

Date: Sat., May 16th, 2015
Check-in: 9:00 AM
Walk: 10:00 AM
Distance: 5K (approx. 3 miles)
Event Location: Garden Spot High School, New Holland, PA

FYI we will be using the Journey with Jody shirts we sold at our auction as our team shirts.  We have a few left if you are interested in purchasing one.  If you do not have one just wear a black shirt (and only if you’re feeling really crafty, decorate it with your own Journey with Jody lettering).

This is a family friendly event that includes activities for kids.

Here’s a two-minute video of what Great Strides is all about:

 

Tags: , ,

Infection… but no rejection

26 Mar
image

Pre-bronch selfie

Since I last wrote, Jody had his six-month post-transplant bronchoscopy.  In case you forget, this is a procedure where he is put to sleep so they can introduce a scope, via his mouth/throat, into the lungs.  His lungs are examined and “washed” with saline.  Tissue samples are taken to check for rejection.  It normally takes about two days until we get the results of this test back.

Like his three-month bronch, this one showed no rejection!  Praise the Lord for that!  It did however show that he is growing a bacteria called Pseudomonas Aeruginosa.  This came as a surprise (to us)… sort of.

Pseudomonas is a bacteria that Jody harbored in his old, CF lungs.  Once he got it, it never went away.  That’s sort of the thing about Cystic Fibrosis.  They have thick, sticky mucous in their lungs and once bacteria gets in there it finds a home in the mucous and is hard, sometimes impossible, to eradicate completely.  This bacteria is typically controlled with inhaled and oral antibiotics, however, when it flairs up (becomes more numerous), one experiences symptoms and is said to have a lung infection, or a CF exacerbation.  Normally this calls for IV antibiotics to again lower the number of bacteria.  Those of you who have been following Jody’s journey before transplant know that he has spent his fair share of time in and out of the hospital fighting these frequent lung infections.  In the past it became clear when Jody had an infection because breathing became a little more labored (as his lung function decreased), cough and mucous production increased, and Jody became much more tired.  Those were his classic signs that it was time for another hospitalization and IV antibiotics.

We had been warned that it’s not uncommon for some of those old CF bacterias to make their way into the new lungs.  It could have been sitting in his trachea (or elsewhere) when the new lungs were placed, and eventually made its way down into the lungs.  Actually, we found out that a very small amount of this bacteria showed up on his three-month bronch (which they didn’t tell us at the time), but that it was too small to treat.  Now, three months later, it’s grown to a quantity worth treating.  We were surprised to hear of this infection because Jody feels great; breathing is good, he has no cough, no mucous, and no drop in energy.  He has none of the “classic” signs of an infection that we’ve grown so familiar with identifying.  I guess that’s the beauty of new lungs.

In case you’re wondering, this does not mean Jody’s CF has returned.  Thankfully, this cannot happen.  Jody will never again have Cystic Fibrosis in his lungs.  This means that he no longer has that thick, sticky mucous which bacteria love so much.  He should be able to get rid of the infection completely (yeah!).  He is treating with oral and inhaled (nebulized) antibiotics for three weeks; no IV’s, no hospitalization!

image

Post-anesthesia and breathing well

Here is a picture of Jody after the bronchoscopy, still a little drowsy from the anesthesia.  I share this photo because even though he’s in and out of sleep, you can see on the monitor, if you click on the photo (middle number in blue) that his oxygen saturation is at 99% on room air (no oxygen).  Seeing that never gets old!

Aside from the infection, the latest issue we are dealing with is the possibility of Jody haven broken the internal wire holding his sternum (chest) together.  Over the last week or two he’s been noticing pain in the center of his chest, that feels shallow, like somethings rubbing.  In certain positions he moves he can hear a “popping” sound.  These signs point to a fractured internal wire.  Next week we have an appointment for a CT scan of his chest which will tell us if our speculation is correct.

Like us, your next question might be, how will they fix that?  Honestly, we’re not really sure.  When Jody asked his transplant coordinator this question, her response was, “I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want to give you anxiety.”  This response produces almost more anxiety because it sounds like the fix for broken wires is pretty ugly.  Of course, I imagine the worst; having his transplant incision opened to remove or replace the wires, needing chest tubes, needing the thoracic epidural again, pain issues, etc..  Most likely it won’t be that bad,  but it would have been nice for the coordinator to give us a better answer.  Who knows, maybe the wires are perfectly intact and there’s another reason for the pain.  As always, I’ll keep you updated as we learn more.  We appreciate your prayers about the infection and the possible broken wires.

Tags: , ,

Because you asked for it…

28 Jan

Today is the day Jody has been dreaming of for the last four months!  Why, you ask?  I’ll tell you… if you keep reading.  Many of you have noticed that I’ve taken a break from blogging and I’ve been increasingly questioned about this.  I’m touched that so many of you enjoy reading my posts and take interest in knowing how Jody is progressing in his transplant journey.  In this post I’ll do my best to give you an update on how things are going, but I warn you, it’s likely to be a long one.

Since transplant Jody has needed a daily intravenous (IV) infusion of a powerful anti-viral medication (Ganciclovir).  In the hospital this drug had special connectors on it to prevent the nurses from touching the medication.  At home the drug came packaged in about three layers of bags, we were given gloves to wear when handling it, and gowns to wear (I guess) when administering it, as well as a special box to dispose of it.  Jody needed to take this drug because he tested negative for CMV (Cytomegalovirus), and his donor tested positive.  We had been warned pre-transplant that this is a common occurrence as many of us have been infected, unknowingly, with the CM virus.  To help you better understand, here’s a brief explanation of the virus from the Mayo Clinic:

“Cytomegalovirus (CMV) is a common virus that can infect almost anyone. Most people don’t know they have CMV because it rarely causes symptoms. However, if you’re pregnant or have a weakened immune system, CMV is cause for concern.

Once infected with CMV, your body retains the virus for life. However, CMV usually remains dormant if you’re healthy.”

Anti-viral medication, handled like a chemo drug.

Anti-viral medication, handled like a chemo drug.

It amazes me that so many CFer’s test negative for this virus because it seems they so easily catch everything else. Regardless, because Jody was so immunocompromised fresh out of transplant and his team did not want him to get the CM virus, he had to take this IV infusion for three months, stopping mid-December.  At that point he converted to a pill form which won’t necessarily prevent him from getting it like the IV did.  It is likely that he will contract this virus at some point in time, as most people do, so he is tested routinely for the virus so it can be caught and treated early if and when he does get it.  Jody is no longer on IV’s but he does still have his Hickman catheter in his chest which he flushes daily to maintain patency.

Christmas '14In December our family enjoyed a simple and quiet Christmas at home, just the four of us.  One thing that was missing this year was a 30 foot oxygen line, getting stepped on and yanked beneath the presents and wrapping paper. It’s absence was welcomed.

Hello 2015!In January we celebrated the arrival of the new year with hope that it will be one of healing and change; healing from the last three years of our lives and change as our lives become (ideally) a little less dictated by disease and sickness.  For two years, and especially this past year, we have felt held back and it’s great to feel those reins being loosened.

Jody is now four months post double-lung transplant and since my last post he has continued to improve.  He is still participating in pulmonary rehab three days a week, and his lung function is still climbing.  It’s incredible, and crazy and wonderful!  I wouldn’t doubt Jody will soon hit 100% lung function!  His breathing has never been better!

Jody’s anti-rejection medications come with many side effects and we are still working to manage them.  His blood pressure, which had been high for months following transplant, and was unchanged by an anti-hypertensive drug, is now much lower after the addition of a second blood pressure medication.  The steroid he is on is being tapered down toward the maintain dose he will take for life.  Each time his dose is lowered his blood sugar levels improve.  It is possible that he will be one of those few people who will not be (medication induced) diabetic for life.  We hope that once he reaches his maintenance dose of Prednisone he will be able to stop checking his blood sugar and injecting himself with insulin.  How great would that be?!

Jody seems to be very sensitive to his Tacrolimus, one of the anti-rejection drugs.  His desired blood Tarco level is between 12-14.  This is the range where the drug is most therapeutic for him.  His levels seem to be jumping all over the place, going low at 11 or high at 16.  His dose keeps changing and we have yet to find the perfect fit that keeps him steadily in his desired range.  It’s odd that even on the same dose his numbers fluctuate so much.  This drug is hard on the kidneys and Jody’s kidney function is definitely showing signs of impact from it (and other) medication, especially when his Tacro levels are elevated.  This is a little worrisome to me, a once nephrology nurse, especially knowing that it’s not uncommon for lung transplant patients to eventually need a kidney transplant as well.  Jody’s kidneys have taken a beating through years of potent antibiotics, toxic levels of drugs, and other necessary medications, known to be taxing on these hard-working organs.  Obviously we pray healing and protection over Jody’s kidneys.

Guys Cabin Weekend '15Overall things are going really well.  Jody is breathing independently and enjoying life… cautiously… after all, it is still cold & flu season.  This month he even got to enjoy a fun ‘guys’ weekend away with some friends, something that would have been near impossible a few short months ago.  His new lungs are AWESOME and we remember with gratitude, the person/family who gave them to him.

As I mentioned in the beginning, today is the day Jody has talked about for the past four months.  Today is the day he got his feeding tube taken out!!!  He has hated that thing since the day it went in.  It was put in out of necessity, he hadn’t been allowed to eat for over a week.  Actually, he probably only ate a week and a half out of the five weeks he was in the hospital.  I’m glad for the nutrition this tube provided him during that time, but since coming home, and being given the okay to eat, the tube hasn’t been used (with the exception of daily flushing to clear the tube).  At discharge Jody weighed 100 lbs, today he is 124.  Thank you to the many of you who brought us delicious meals, you played a part in this much needed weight gain.

You might be wondering why Jody’s feeding tube has stayed in this long if it hasn’t been used for the last three months.  Steroids impair healing and because Jody was on such a high dose, his feeding tube hole might not have closed had they taken it out three months ago.  Picture him taking a drink and it immediately coming out his stomach (we’ve seen videos of this).  Each month the doctors have lowered his steroid dose and he is finally at a level where they feel his tube can be pulled without complications.  This is great news because the tube has caused Jody great discomfort.  It is now gone, leaving Jody with yet another scar, proof of all he’s endured on this journey.

Jody’s has now been approved for monthly clinic visits.  It’s so great to be spending less time at Hopkins.  Sometimes he still has appointments there for other reasons, like today, but it’s great to have his transplant appointments less frequently.  For the past year (or more) we’ve been going to Hopkins at least monthly, often even more frequently then that, so I can hardly imagine what it will be like when Jody’s appointments become even more spaced out.  To put Cystic Fibrosis and transplant on the back burner of our lives again seems dreamy.

I warned you this might be a long post.  I’ll end by asking for your continued prayers for protection over Jody during this tough cold and flu season.  Ironically the girls and I have gotten colds (we have them now) but we’ve managed to keep them from Jody (so far).  Our family has avoided the stomach bug and flu that has been spreading like wildfire.  We’ve been warned about how any of these might impact Jody, and would prefer to avoid them (and another hospitalization) altogether.

Thanks again for reading and for your continued care and concern for Jody.  On Saturday he will be celebrating his 43rd birthday… out of the hospital, breathing great and healthy.  One couldn’t ask for much more than that!

Tags: ,

The Significance of a Trash Can

20 Dec

Three months!  That’s how long Jody has had his new lungs.  In some ways it seems like it was just yesterday when we received that much-anticipated phone call, and in other ways it feels like a lifetime ago.  Who knew ones life could change so drastically in such a short period of time?

This past week I began reflecting on some of this and am only now realizing just how sick Jody was before his transplant.  Infections, hospitalizations, shortness of breath, oxygen tanks, doctors appointments, limitations; they were our norm.  I had forgotten what it was like to live a life not dictated by disease.  I grieved the lives we once lived before CF took over, but at the same time, the longer we lived that new life the more I became comfortable with it and it felt like normal (even though I knew it wasn’t).  I’m only now realizing just how much I subconsciously worried about Jody during this period. People living with Cystic Fibrosis take their final breath each and every day, often not making it to the point of transplant.  I’m SO grateful to the team of people who took care of Jody during these years of decline.  I’m thankful for the way they valued his life and cared about him as well as for the wisdom they displayed in knowing the right time to start the transplant process (even though at the time it was a scary and overwhelming option).  Thank you, Lord, for placing these people in our lives.

Over these last two years Jody has had to give up many responsibilities around the house as simple things, such as going up the stairs, became work in and of itself.  Jody was not happy to give up a lot of these things, nor was I always (or ever) happy to have these responsibilities added to my ever-increasing work load.  I can think of multiple times this past winter when after working a 12 hour shift I came home to our large driveway, full of snow, and knew I would be responsible to remove it.  This was the last thing I wanted to do after a long and tiring day.  I felt grumpy and irritated with the situation and missed Jody being able to help out with these things.  He, on the other hand, felt grumpy and irritated that he had to watch me (from inside the house) having ‘fun’ on our riding mower, snow blower attached, as I cleared the driveway (although I wouldn’t have called it ‘fun’).

Things like taking out the trash each week, filling the gas tanks in our vehicles, mowing the lawn, grocery shopping, running errands, laying our girls down for naps, or checking on them when they needed something or were being naughty (because those things required going up stairs), are just a few of the things Jody gave up.  I share this with you because three weeks ago I came home from work one afternoon (on trash night) and before I even pulled into our driveway I immediately noticed the trash cans sitting there, ready and waiting for pick-up the next morning.  It was a simple task with huge implications, and I was struck by it.  Jody is getting his life back!  The weight I have carried for so long is slowly but surely being lifted.  I am getting my helper back!

Despite the fact that things are going really well, I’m finding that it’s hard to give up something which had become so engrained in me.  It’s odd not to rush Jody to the car when we go outside in the cold, to let him go check on the girls upstairs, to send him out to pick something up at the store.  I have carried so much guilt for not being able to do enough and for making Jody do things that he probably shouldn’t have been doing, like taking care of our girls while I worked.  Any time my work phone rang and displayed a home number I found myself holding my breath and almost afraid to answer, fearing something was wrong (because sometimes it was).  Jody has never been a complainer but I knew his job as stay-at-home-dad (forced on him by disease progression) was not easy.  How could it be with 22% lung function?

It’s wonderful to share with you how much two new lungs have changed our lives.  Jody has more energy than I have seen in years.  I can leave for work in the morning without guilt because I know that he is more than capable of caring for our children while I am gone.  When I come home I hear stories of all the fun things they did that day and I smile and think to myself how thankful I am for organ donation.

There is so much more I could share with you in this post about how our lives are changing (and it’s only been three months).  I don’t feel like I’ve done a very good job of expressing the change in mindset CF and transplant have played in our lives.  It’s hard to put into words the way I feel in my head and heart but hopefully you have somewhat of an understanding of this.  Just as it took time to adjust to the ‘loss’ of life as Jody’s CF progressed, so too will it take time to adjust to this rebirth of life (although I think this will be less of an adjustment since we’re gaining rather than giving up).  While I believe Jody will beat the odds of transplant I feel cautious to jump in with wholehearted belief that this positive change in our lives is here to stay.  Having given up so much in the name of disease it somehow seems easier if I keep myself prepared for the worst.  I don’t know if you could call this being guarded or just being realistic?  Conversations like we had this week in clinic about hospitalizations and viruses, especially those which can cause a rapid, drastic decrease in lung function do not make it easier for me to believe this new life is here to stay.  Regardless, the changes I am seeing in Jody right now are amazing!

Now for a brief medical update.  Last Friday (12/12) Jody had a routine three-month bronchoscopy done.  He was put to sleep for this procedure so a scope could be inserted through his mouth and into his lungs.  They were then ‘washed’ and checked for rejection and infection.  I am glad to report that he has neither of those!  Additionally, the damage that was displayed after Jody’s aspiration in the hospital has been resolved. One more good thing to share… Jody’s lung function this week hit 91.4% (and that’s after the bronch when doctors expect to see a temporary decrease in function)!  He wanted to hit 90% by Christmas and he did.  We praise God for all these good reports and are cautiously optimistic that they will continue.

I’ll end with a photo collage of a family outing we recently took to Dutch Winter Wonderland, a local amusement park for kids.  These tickets were gifted to us and would not have been possible if it weren’t for Jody’s new lungs.  It has been a long time since we did something like this and we look forward to many more of these outing where precious, lasting, memories can be made.

Family Fun @ Dutch Winter Wonderland.

Tags: ,

Surviving

8 Dec

Christmas tree shopping

I can hardly believe we’re entering the second week in December.  I think I’m going to blink and realize that Christmas has come and gone.  Last week we went out and bought a real tree (which we had approved by the transplant team).  Pre-transplant, the cold weather was very bothersome for Jody.  As soon as he breathed that cold air into his failing lungs it caused his chest to tighten and elicited lots of intense coughing.  So much so that sometimes it even caused bleeding in his lungs.  Last winter I dreaded every time he stepped outside.  Few things scared me like the site of him coughing up bright red blood, standing helpless, waiting and wondering if and when it would stop.  People with CF have died from this alone; it can be very serious.  I used to tell Jody to wrap a scarf around his mouth and nose, I’d tell him to go straight to his seat (I’d buckle the girls into their car seats), and sometimes we’d even use his handicapped sign to park close to an entrance so he had less exposure to that cold air.  Often he needed to do an Albuterol nebulizer treatment after being outside to help open up his airways, relieving some of the chest tightness.  There are so many things we take for granted in life, like being able to go outside and breathe comfortably and effortlessly.  This winter is going to be different.  While I’m scared of the fact that it’s cold and flu season (and I’ve been warned that Jody could be admitted 10 times this year for various bugs and infections), I feel such peace knowing that he can walk out the door and breathe well.  No longer do I fear him coughing, no longer do I dread the site of blood spilling from his mouth.  It’s odd to not hear his cough anymore… but it’s wonderful too!  All that to say, aside from being cold, our hunt for the perfect Christmas tree went well; no oxygen, no shortness of breath, no coughing, no blood, and one perfectly green, perfectly fragrant six-foot Fraser fur.

Jody continues to make great progress, and his PFT’s are still climbing.  Last week at clinic he was up to 85.4% lung function.  Oddly, just two weeks after being lectured for driving and told that he wouldn’t be allowed to drive for six months, he was given the okay to drive again.  We don’t pretend to understand what changed their minds, nor do we question the decision since Jody feels ready and it will make our lives easier to have two drivers in the family again.

I have been back to work for about 2-3 weeks now and it has not been easy.  People ask me all the time how Jody is doing, and I appreciate that, he’s been through a lot and deserves to know that people care about him.  Unfortunately, that’s normally where the conversation ends.  Very few people ever think to ask how I am doing, really doing.  These past three months (nearly) have been anything but stress-free.  We’re finding that Jody has very little memory of his five weeks spent in the hospital which, for him, is probably for the best.  I on the other hand have full recollection of it all, including things that I have chosen not to share on my blog.  I’ve had very little time to process all of this as I have lived on survival mode.  The weight of ‘single’ parenting, care giving, working to provide for my family, housekeeping, chauffeuring, arranging babysitters and doctors appointment after appointment are heavy upon my shoulders.  Nearly every day off work is spent at some kind of appointment.  I have adjusted my work schedule when I can, working all kinds of shifts to lessen the need for sitters, at the expense of sleep.  Work in and of itself has been stressful lately with census surges and less than ideal staffing.  Jody and I have had very little quality time together since transplant and I’ve spent little time with friends and doing the things I enjoy.  All of this has taken its toll on me.  This entire experience, including the two years leading up to transplant, has certainly changed me.  I’m overjoyed with how well Jody is doing with his new lungs and words can’t describe how thankful I am for this gift, but just as it’s been hard on him it’s been hard on me too.  I’m dreaming of a relaxing vacation, just he and I, where the ocean is clear, the sand is white, and his scar is faded.  It will be a long time until this dream comes to fruition but I trust that one day it will, after all, isn’t that the point of this transplant, to enjoy life, to make dreams come true?  We may not be reaping the full benefits of Jody’s new lungs yet, but I know we will.  I know that my stress level will decrease, and one day (hopefully soon), life will be ‘normal’ again.  Until then, I continue to put one foot in front of the other and press-on.  Just like Jody, I’m a survivor!

Tags: ,

Years Restored

22 Nov

Jody is doing well.  Really well.  On November 15th he reached the two month mark, and I have to say, his new lungs are downright awesome!  Each week at clinic his lung function continues to climb.  This past week he was at 81.5%!  I can hardly wrap my brain around this considering a few short months ago he was down to 22%.  Can you imagine what that must feel like?  Recently I looked at my records of Jody’s PFT’s from when we started dating 10 years ago (yes, admittingly I do have 10 years of records in my file cabinet).  In 2004 his lung function was hanging around 75%.  Through the next ten years he experienced a slow and steady decline until his lungs nearly gave up here in 2014.  One night in surgery erased 10 years of damage.  It’s crazy!

Pulmonary rehab is going well and Jody is definitely becoming more active.  In fact, this past week in clinic he was reminded not to overdo it because he has a very thin wire holding his chest together right now.  Jody has a transverse sternotomy incision which means they cut his breastbone in half horizontally instead of up and down.  This provides greater access for a lung transplant surgeon than the traditional (vertical) sternotomy.  I searched online to find a photo of this to give you a visual and this is the best one I could find (sorry it’s a little blurry).  On x-ray you can see the bow tie-like wires holding Jody’s sternum together until it heals.  Until that time he continues to have lifting and stretching restrictions.

Speaking of restrictions… two weeks ago his transplant coordinator gave us the impression that he could start driving when he felt up to it, and recently he did.  After two months of me, and only me, at the wheel it was great to have him back at it… he could drive himself to rehab.  At clinic this week he was given a lecture about having started driving and told that he wouldn’t be cleared to drive until six months out of surgery.  The coordinator (who seems to call the shots) did correct the doctor and say that it wouldn’t be that long.  It was frustrating to be given this gentle scolding when just two weeks ago Jody was told that he would know when he felt ready to get behind the wheel.  Perhaps they should have clarified that just because he felt ready didn’t mean he was ready.  So now we’re back to me and only me behind the wheel.  This is complicated because I am back to work, Jody has rehab three days a week and our youngest daughter needs to get to and from preschool three days a week.  Jody’s clearance to drive couldn’t come soon enough.

One thing Jody’s new lungs allowed us to do recently was to celebrate our youngest daughter’s fourth birthday.  We didn’t do anything fancy, just the four of us here at home, DSC_0308Ain fact, I didn’t even make a cake, I bought one (gasp).  Most of you know that one of my favorite things to do is make/decorate fun birthday cakes for our girls but this birthday I decided I didn’t need the added stress.  Piper, forgive me, I promise I’ll make it up to you next year.  The cake I asked the bakers to make turned out cute and she probably didn’t even care that it wasn’t made by me.  Do you remember this post, ‘Thank you, transplant, for waiting two more days?‘  I guess I could have titled this one, ‘Thank you, transplant, for this day.’  I’m so glad our daughter didn’t have to celebrate her birthday without us.  The hope of this transplant is that Jody will thrive, beating the statistics of lung transplants just as he beat the odds stacked against him so many years ago when he was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis.  Hopefully he will be around to celebrate many more birthdays.

One final note, our family received some sad news this week that Jody’s Mom, Sharon, was diagnosed with colon cancer.  She has an appointment with a surgeon in two weeks and until then we are left with very little information on the staging of her cancer and the treatment plan.  We know she will have surgery on December 10th and we appreciate your prayers for that.  Thankfully I am off work that day so I can be there for her surgery.  Pray that God would fill her with hope and minimize the negative thoughts that come with every cancer diagnosis.

Thanks for continuing to follow Jody’s Journey.

‘For I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord…

Jeremiah 30:17

Tags: , ,

Updates from Home

26 Oct

Jody has been home from the hospital for five days now and we are settling into a new routine.  I have three weeks off work and while I’m thankful for that, it doesn’t seem like nearly enough.  I remember the transplant coordinator at the hospital telling me to be sure I was rested and ready for discharge because it would be “all you (me) at home” taking care of Jody.  I am surprised at how much time post-transplant caregiving takes (that and being Mommy).  Twice a day Jody has a number of self-monitoring tasks he needs to do and record, such as weight, vital signs, lung function testing, etc.  DSC_0346AHe has an extensive medication regimen that begins at 8am and concludes at 10pm (see photo on right of all his oral medications).  He also has a number of intravenous (IV) and inhaled medications.  It is so weird to me that his entire medication list is new (as in, he no longer needs most of the CF meds he’s been on for as long as I’ve known him). It feels like everything I’ve learned in the past 10 years about Cystic Fibrosis is thrown out the window and now I’m learning an entire new beast called ‘lung transplant.’

At discharge we sat down with a pharmacist and Jody’s transplant coordinator to review his meds and fill his first pill box.  We were given an eight page chart full of medications to guide us with what to take and when to take it.  This first week I gave Jody a ‘free pass’ and I took responsibility for giving him all of his meds at the appropriate time.  Next week we will do it together and the third week he will do it by himself while I watch.

I learned a few things this past week, one being that the pill box provided by the hospital was not working (at least for me).  There were not enough slots in a day to accommodate the numerous times he needs to take meds.  For instance, all morning meds were lumped into one slot even though they are taken at different times throughout the morning.  After an unsuccessful Google search for a six-slot per day (or more) pill organizer, I decided to get creative and make my own.  I bought two seven-day pill boxes with four slots for each day.  I flipped the boxes on their side to make the seven-days become seven-slots (per day).  DSC_0376Now I can label the specific time Jody needs to take his meds and I even have an extra section for PRN (as needed) drugs or Jody’s digestive enzymes.  I realize that pill boxes are not exciting reading material so please know the only reason I share this with you is because there are a number of pre and post transplant readers of my blog who might find this method helpful for them as well.

In addition to medications, Jody also needs to check his blood sugar four times a day and often requires insulin coverage (he will most likely develop full-blown diabetes as a side effect of some of the medication he is taking for his lungs).  One thing that is odd about this is that because of his Cystic Fibrosis, which still affects his GI system, he doesn’t need to limit his sugar/carbohydrate intake.  As a result, he can eat things most diabetics would need to avoid, although it does cause his blood glucose levels to rise significantly.  It’s hard for me to understand this balance or lack thereof.

On the day of discharge Jody had swallowing study #5 done.  If you remember, the week before he was given permission to eat again, but wasn’t allowed to drink thin liquids.  At this test they did clear him to drink regular liquids but he must tuck his chin down to his chest to swallow.  He is still experiencing laryngeal penetration where the liquids go down into the larynx and are stopped by the vocal cords from entering into the lungs.  He was given a special cup to use for liquids because it only allows him to take in 10 mL of fluid per sip.  I lovingly refer to this cup as his ‘adult sippy cup’ because that’s just how it looks.  This cup prevents him from taking in large volumes which would most likely make their way past the vocal cords at some point.  After everything we’ve been through another aspiration episode is the last thing we need.  Jody also can’t eat foods that are mixed with liquids such as cereal or soup, like vegetable.  Additionally, to prevent aspiration he needs to sleep at a 30 degree or more angle. Propping pillows and not being able to change positions at night has been difficult and uncomfortable for Jody. He is waking up with back pain as a result. We’ve heard mixed talk about the follow-up plan regarding his swallowing issues.  He might need speech therapy to give him exercises to strengthen his swallowing muscles or they might just wait and repeat another swallowing test (yes, #6!) after he’s been eating on his own (which could in itself fix the problem).  For right now Jody is really glad to be able to drink again, even if it is just 10cc’s at a time.

At this time Jody is not allowed to be left alone.  Because he is immunosuppressed, and we are in cold and flu season, we continue to be careful about germs and exposing him to outside people.  It’s hard to know when and how to let up on this.  As far as I am concerned, for the first time in five weeks I am mask-free!  This is both liberating and terrifying at the same time.  I often wonder if I will ever kiss him without fear of killing him by spreading some bug I may not know I have.  I realize everything is quite fresh right now and that I will probably relax about it in due time, but for now the fear of germs and bugs is still very real.

I wish I could say we’ve been living it up here at home and having the time of our lives, but it simply wouldn’t be true.  While the routine is going fine, Jody has not been feeling well.  He has spent much of the week sleeping and is having a lot of intermittent yet intense abdominal pain.  Eating makes the cramping and bloated feeling worse, not eating is causing him to lose weight that he shouldn’t be losing.  It’s hard to encourage him to eat, knowing the pain it will cause him, yet its hard to see the skin hanging off his body knowing it will only get worse if he doesn’t eat.  It wouldn’t surprise me if they start using his feeding tube again for extra nutrition but Jody is strongly against this.

Bowel obstruction could be the cause of all the abdominal pain Jody is experiencing.  Today the doctors called in a prescription for him to do a colonoscopy-type bowel prep that should clean out his system completely.  Tonight he is feeling a little better but he also hasn’t eaten so it’s hard to say if the clean-out worked or if its his empty stomach that has him feeling a little better.  This has been an ongoing issue for Jody and it is very frustrating and overwhelming for him.  He has had moments where he sincerely wondered if all of this (transplant) was even worth it.  I know that deep down he knows it was, and that he will get better, but we (you and I) can’t belittle how hard this major surgery was on him (and anyone else going through it).  It’s so much easier for me to say, “Of course it was worth it!!!” because I’m not the one experiencing it first hand.  For this reason I chose to stay quiet, but it didn’t keep me from shouting those words in my head.  I know that in his heart Jody knows transplant was worth it; he’s got a wife and two little girls to live for and to watch grow into young ladies.

Speaking of little ladies.  On Tuesday our family of four will finally be back together.  Our youngest daughter had a recent live vaccine so she wasn’t allowed to be in the same house as Jody for a two-week period afterwards.  It turned out to be a smooth transition to home only having the oldest with us because she is in school for eight hours a day, and is also a little more independent.  I’m excited to have everyone at home under one roof, but I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little nervous about it too.  Please pray that God would give me an extra dose of patience and that things would go smoothly.

We will be heading back to Hopkins for transplant clinic on Wednesday.  This will be a weekly thing for the time being but the visits will gradually be spaced further apart.  Hopefully by this weeks appointment Jody will feel better and won’t need to stay; that possibility is never very far off.  Please continue to pray for Jody’s ongoing recovery and especially for the GI issues he’s been having.  Your words of encouragement do wonders for the soul.  It is so touching to know that people (still) care and so I hope you will take the time to continue uplifting Jody with your words/comments.  Until next time… thank you for reading.

Tags: , , ,

Battle Scars Revealed

24 Sep

Dinner is served!

Things are moving in the right direction!  Jody’s feeding tube was placed on Monday without any complications.  He has a PEG-J tube which means it has two parts:  The “G,” which goes into his stomach (used for medications), and the “J” which goes into his jejunum, or middle portion of the small intestine.  The “J” tube is where the liquid food is going.  Since Jody is post lung transplant they are very cautious and do not want food going into his stomach because of the risk of reflux, and in turn aspiration into his lungs.  As some of you know, Cystic Fibrosis negatively effects Jody’s ability to digest food so he needs to take digestive enzymes with everything he eats in order to absorb the nutrients.  The staff here were having a difficult time getting the enzymes into his feeding tube but after about 24 hours of head scratching they finally have it figured out.  This makes me glad because now Jody can actually take in the nutrients he needs to grow stronger.

Yesterday the speech therapist stopped by the room.  She immediately commented on how much better Jody was looking since his swallowing test this past Friday.  This has been a sore subject for us.  Jody was so messed up on Friday when he took that test, and you probably remember me telling you how he had to be laid down because of feeling faint.  The therapist even mentioned that when she gave him the first cup he just kind of held it there like he didn’t even know what to do with it (I’m telling you, he was out of it).  I had been telling people that I felt like he didn’t have a fair shot at passing the test because of the way he felt but they solely blame it on the transplant and laryngal nerve damage.  The therapist seemed to think Jody had a good chance of passing if the test was repeated, based on how he looked then and now.  It felt great to finally have someone agree with me.  Convincing the doctors to order another test might be another story.  Please pray with us that they would agree to this and more importantly… that Jody would pass!  After imagining months of nutrition through a feeding tube I’m overjoyed at the slight possibility of Jody being able to eat even before leaving the hospital.  However, even if he doesn’t pass a repeat test, then we’ll no longer wonder if he could have, had the circumstances been different, and we’ll embrace the feeding tube wholeheartedly.

Today Jody had his first bronchoscopy post transplant.  This is a procedure that allows the doctors to look inside Jody’s airways and lungs.  They checked the sites of anastomosis (where Jody’s new lungs were attached), cleaned out some of the mucous and junk in there, and sent more cultures to look for viruses, bacteria, and fungus.  This is a routine procedure and Jody will continue to have these performed throughout the upcoming year.  Thankfully everything looked as it should for one week post-op.

Battle Scars Revealed

Jody’s two chest tubes are still in place.  He will be so happy when they are gone because of the pain they cause him.  Unfortunately they are still draining too much fluid.  The doctors would like to see them draining around 100 mL or less before pulling them.  Today Jody’s left tube had stopped draining all together and I firmly believed it was because of a blood clot inside that was blocking it from escaping.  No one believed me.  I told doctor after doctor, nurse after nurse, anyone who I could I told my theory.  The area where I thought the clot was located couldn’t be visualized because of tape but I knew it was there.  I was concerned about the fluid that would fill Jody’s chest, hindering his ability to breathe.  I wanted to pull my hair out because no one was taking me serious, and I felt Jody would be the one to pay for it.  I’m sure they all thought me extremely annoying, but I didn’t care.  Finally I had the NP (nurse practitioner) come to the room for one last attempt to be heard.  Instead she told me it was fine and that she understood that it was a new thing for us, but that they deal with these all the time, and I should trust them (I heard this from Dr. Shah the other day too, when Jody was so messed up and he could hardly even talk).  Just before the NP walked out of the room Jody asked for a tissue to blow his nose.  I’m sure it was God because when he did the clot that I knew was there broke free and instantly the fluid ran freely down the tube.  Before this he had 20 mL of drainage, after the nose blow he had 300 mL.  As of now he is up to 500 mL.  All of this would have been backing up inside him.  I was so afraid they would pull the tube thinking it wasn’t draining and he would end up needing to have it put back in (which is said to be a painful procedure).  I thank God for listening to me when no one else would.  No one ever acknowledged that I was right, and they don’t need to, but I hope that next time they will take me a little more serious when I express concerns to them.

In my last post I talked about Jody’s low blood pressure.  They started to wean the blood pressure medicine but are doing it much, much slower this time.  He is tolerating it well so far, and is able to get out of bed without feeling like he is going to pass out.

DSC_0112A

100% Oxygen Saturation

Jody is walking each day and every day he goes further and further.  Today he walked two and a half laps around the nursing unit without any rest breaks (approx. 1500 feet).  I’m so proud of him!  It is still so amazing to watch him do this without any oxygen.  At one point today when he was in bed I looked at the monitor and it was reading his oxygen saturation at 100%.  That’s 1-0-0!  It can’t get any better than that!  Never in our married life have I seen his oxygen at 100%.  Naturally I had to take a picture.

Now for an update on Jody’s vision, it’s still a problem.  He continues to have blurred vision and spots, and has had this since the day of surgery (we’re not sure exactly when he first noticed it).  It’s not something that he complains about but I see him struggling to read or look at things close-up, and wish it would fix itself.  We pray that this resolves, especially since the doctors don’t seem to want to do anything about it.

DSC_0069A

Jody’s owner’s manual

One important aspect to Jody’s recovery and being prepared for discharge is education.  When he was in the ICU and still on the vent the transplant coordinator stopped by and handed me a one-inch, three-ring binder.  Her exact words were, “Here is the owner’s manual to the rest of Jody’s life.”  Since that time we have been meeting the Jody’s assigned coordinator a little bit each day to begin learning life after transplant. Pray that we can absorb all the information being given to us so that we will be prepared come time for discharge.

Despite the fact that I have expressed some of the negative things we have experienced, we are happy with the care Jody is getting and feel very grateful to be here at this hospital.  It’s surreal to think that the waiting and wondering is over and the worst part of this is behind us.  I look forward to the progress that each new day brings, and I know that one of these days that progress will bring us home.

Tags: , , ,

← Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: